As humans, if there is anything that we are tied to right from our birth it is a relationship. And throughout our life, we meet and greet numerous other humans, form bonds with some, form relationships with few, and some of them become a part of our lives forever. Being in a relationship needs time, it requires effort, it requires sacrifice, and it’s more about giving than taking. Now the relationship could be of any nature — it could be friendship, it could be a beneficial relationship, it could be a marriage, it could be parenthood, etc. whatever might be the nature of the relationship most of us give it our all and do everything in our capacity to make the relationship work. But sometimes these very relationships that were our only source of happiness don the hat of being toxic. While we are always taught about what relationships are and how we need to keep up with them right from our childhood, we are never taught about the boundaries that we need to set in our relationships. There might be many instances in a relationship where it must have been a wiser decision to put a full stop but you chose to continue even when you knew it was wrong. Was it your choice, your action, or was it an action that was manipulated by somebody else in your relationship?
If you have ever felt insecurity in a close relationship or even in a casual encounter when you’re feeling that you’re being pressurized or you’re being controlled or you almost question yourself upon what you are doing with that particular person then it could definitely be manipulation.
What Is Emotional Manipulation?
We can consider emotional manipulation to be a form of manipulation that is a very unhealthy emotionally psychological strategy that is used by some people who are not at all capable of asking what they want directly and take it by others’ actions indirectly. Basically, people who are manipulative have this urge to control others or other’s lives. To help you understand and cope with emotional manipulation better we have listed out seven ways to stop emotional manipulation in your lives. Read on.
- Trust Your Senses, Trust Your Gut
There is no point in being honest with the person who is an emotional manipulator. Whatever statement you make it will mostly be turned around and pointed towards you leaving you in a tight spot. For example: if you have told them that you are really angry that they forgot your birthday. You will probably hear a response from them saying that it makes them feel sad that you thought that they would forget your birthday and it was just that they were undergoing some personal stress And I didn’t want to trouble you by showing that stress. They will also apologize for not having celebrated the birthday even after remembering it while going through the stress. When you hear such a story or an explanation or an apology you know for a fact that they did not mean it at all. So the first rule that you need to remember while dealing with a person who is an emotional blackmailer is to trust your gut and trust your senses. You have to be frank and say that you do not accept the apology because you feel that it is not genuine at all. If you give in to the apology then be ready to be fed more of such emotional manipulation in the times to come.
- They Are Emotional Manipulators That Pretend To Be Willing Helpers
Emotional manipulators will never volunteer to help in the first place. If you ask for their help and ask him to do a certain task they will agree. And most of the time they create a bunch of non-verbal signs or make heavy sighs to just convey to you that they don’t really want to do whatever you asked him to but then they have no other choice but to do it. This becomes one crazy scenario to handle this might leave you thinking that you could have done that particular task on your own without even asking for help. What we are trying to see here is that if the emotional manipulator has told a yes to you then ensure that they are accountable for that particular yes. Don’t fall prey to their heavy sigh or emotional drama.
- They Do The Crazy-Making All The Time
If you ever find yourself in the lap of a relationship where it becomes important for you to keep a lock about whatever is being said and done between your partner and you then you are definitely experiencing the trauma of emotional manipulation. Let us tell you that an emotional manipulator is one expert in rationalizing, he/she turns things around easily, justifies the change in statements, and sometimes denies making them too. Sometimes you might be looking at a black statement and they might call it to be white and you will be left confused thinking what exactly is the color of the statement a black or white. In such situations, we suggest that you record the statements and let them know that you feel forgetful about what is being said and done therefore you are making those recordings. This will at least help them realize that they cannot be fooling around and changing their statements.
- They Are Exceptional Guilt Mongers
If you have an emotional Manipur later around you then they will surely make you feel guilty for riders speaking up or not speaking out. For not being emotional or being emotional, for caring or for giving, for doing things in general, and not doing things in general. Emotional manipulators seldom express their desire to watch a particular thing most of the time; they achieve those things with
the help of emotional manipulation. If you did a particular task for them they might get back at you saying that they didn’t really want your head but at the same time if you had chosen not to do that particular task they might have still got back to you asking why didn’t you help them. The only advice we can give you is to watch out and know where to draw the line.
- They Fight Extremely Dirty
They don’t really deal in a direct manner with things. Most of the time you’ll find them talking behind your back. They are aggressive but in a passive way meaning that they will figure subtle ways of letting you know that they aren’t really happy. For example, if you have been planning on this one vacation with your boy gang for months you’ll mostly have your partner support the plan and might even ask you to go have a gala time. But on the night of the journey, there might be some or the other drama that might set you off and you will be left thinking if it was a planned ordeal or not.
- It Is Hard To Stay Connected To An Emotional Manipulator
You might be going through a hard time but always expect that an emotional manipulator might pretend to be going through a much harder time. Emotional manipulators always find a way to put the spotlight back on themselves. You know that they are faking all the pain and all if it is just drama and what we suggest is that you don’t have to bother you just need to trust your gut and just walk apart if you feel it’s too much.
- They Can Never Be Accountable
They never take responsibility for their actions or deeds and it’s always about what others have done. They always find ways to connect by sharing deeply personal information in the early stages of the relationship itself. Well, you might think that they are clear hearted and vulnerable when they do this but the truth is that they are weaving the web for you to get stuck in it.
Hence, always know when to draw the line or shut the door when you are in the company of an emotional manipulator.